The Wandering Stitch: A Letter To Mom

Dear Mom,

It's me Winston - I've included a photo to help jog your memory. Where did you go? One minute Daddy was bringing me to day care (where I did very well, by the way - thanks for asking) and the next, some crazy lady who looked like she was about to fall asleep any minute, was picking me up. My friends at DayCare said I had to go with her. Really now - I just don't understand you humans sometimes. If you're tired, you don't operative those 4-wheeled things that go zoom; lie down and take a nap!

Luckily, we made it safely to her house, Chez Roach. Quite the digs I must say - nice big yard to do my business if you know what I mean. They even have another Dog!!! How cool is that - if memory serves, she stayed with us this summer. Her name is Joulee and she's been very nice. I asked if I could call her Grandma, but she said no ( I hope she wasn't offended). She's magical!!! We run downstairs & she can jump through doors!! It's just crazy - one minute she's there, the next she's not. I haven't quite figured out how she does it. I did notice in the morning when the humans were leaving, doggie biscuits magically appeared through the door. I think I could learn to like this place! I mean this is a trick you and Daddy need to learn!

Guess what else???? There is another critter that lives here - I think it's called a cat. I haven't been able to get too close, because it stays on top of the freezer in the garage. Take a look -

It's a cat, right? She is soooo cute. I think she's magical too. She can change sizes!! When I first saw her, she looked rather small. Then, when I tried to get closer, she jumped on top of the 4-wheeled thing that goes zoom & got really big!!! Her fur must have been 10 feet tall at the least!! Quite terrifying I must say! I just want to say hello & play a bit. Maybe she's just shy.

Can we talk about the food situation for a bit? I swear the cup you use at home is WAY BIGGER than the one they have here. The crazy lady swears its the same and that you left her some sort of lesson plan of how much to feed me. She says she's a teacher and that she's very good at following lesson plans. Come on Mom, I'm so hungry!!! I think my bowl is smaller too - are you sure you wrote out the correct instructions? I tried to tell the crazy lady that I normally get as much as I want, but she said no, I can only have 2 cups. No wonder Joulee is so skinny! Fortunately, Joulee is kind of messy & drops little bits on the floor which I gobble up before the crazy lady can pick them up. You gotta be fast around here or you may starve!!! I can happily report they have roast beef here - just like at home!! At least she got that part right.

We went on an expedition yesterday afternoon. The crazy lady wouldn't fill my cup before we left - I got some roast beef as a snack & then off we went. It was pretty cool - we ran up hills and walked around a lake. There were some birds, but I wasn't allowed to look at them up close.

The crazy lady wouldn't let me run free. She kept me tied to the leash. She let Joulee run without a leash - so unfair!! What's up with that? The crazy lady said she was afraid I would run off - now really; I couldn't possibly leave without my cup and my cow. Perhaps next time I'll bring them along, just in case the crazy lady has a lapse of judgment & turns me loose.

Look at me!! I'm standing on solid water!!

Yeah - here I am getting pulled back. I just wanted to see the moving water and take a drink. The crazy lady said no (she has a very limited vocabulary, I've decided). I'm a retriever for pete's sake - we're supposed to like the water. Geez

Well, I hope you are having a good time. Do you miss me? Are you coming back? When??? I really miss sleeping in a nice big comfy bed. Seems the man in this place is adverse to dogs sleeping in the bed. What's the big deal? The crazy lady didn't really seem to mind. I think she was just too darned tired during night #1 that if a rabid tiger jumped in the bed she wouldn't have done anything about it.

I love you and Daddy - can't wait to see you. Are you bringing me a present? (oh - crazy lady said that's impolite to ask such a question. Dang - there are so many rules around here)